Chinese Frankfurter

24.11.2009 - Stop and Stare

2009-11-24T09:11:00.000-08:00

The irony of life...

I recall as I wrote the blog "Taking the Plunge Once Again" back on 19 June 2008, I was in the office with the radio on... It was a pleasant summer day and I was still soaking in the thrill of my brand new life...

It was on that day when I heard the song "Stop & Stare" by One Republic for the very first time.. I loved the melody and without thinking too much about the lyrics; told myself that this song defined that moment and those first few weeks in this curious new city.. a song that I would always associate with my brand new life in Frankfurt..

Autumn is now turning to Winter... 2009 will turn to 2010.. It is nearly a year and a half later.. And now, listening carefully to the lyrics of this song for the first time; this song is even more appropriate for the way I feel now, than the way I felt then....

Ironically, the meaning of the lyrics within this song makes sense for me now...

For then or for now; and forever, "Stop & Stare" will always be my "Frankfurt" song...

------------------------------------------- >>>
"Stop & Stare" - by One Republic

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

17.08.2009 - Sudoku Logic

2009-08-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

What do we want? I mean, what do we really want in life? Do we ever really know? Most of us say we do.. But, I guess most of us never really do know..

Yes, we say we know.. But perhaps what we say we want, are just what we think we want.. Our thoughts are flawed.. swayed and influenced by people around us.. by what society dictates as the norm.. by advertising, by MTV, by Soap Opera.. by our own personal dreams and delusions, or that little chip on the shoulder...

We settle for what's safe.. we settle for a sense of security.. we settle for what we think is approved by the list of what we think we want...

No, no one ever really knows what they want.. in their jobs.. in love.. in life...

But, what we do actually know,.. is what we do not want...

Human beings are curious creatures.. We always seek new experiences.. We are curious because we do not know what we want.. But once we have experienced it, and if we don't like it; it becomes part of a solid list of things that we do not want in our lives..

And I guess, that is really the first step in getting to know ourselves better.. to getting to know what we truly want...

I got a new Blackberry a few weeks ago.. Pre-installed was a Sudoku game.. I've always wondered why people were so fascinated with that game.. So I've started playing Sudoku in times of boredom, and am getting really good at it.. Figuring it out...

And in figuring Sudoku out, I think I am beginning to understand how much similarity it has with our lives...

Sudoku is about looking at what's on the table and eliminating the impossibilities in each situation.. The more you know what is not right for you, the closer you get to knowing what is really right for you...

So look at each situation and aspect of your life.. Is that what you really want? Maybe it isn't.. List down everything that you don't want.. Eliminate the impossibilites, and very soon you will get to know what you really want.. and you will find the solution - happiness.

Sudoku logic.

05.10.2008 - Next Stop: Softy Ice Cream Cone with Chocolate Flake Station

2008-10-06T01:35:00.000-07:00

When I went to Jakarta in June 2004 for the “look-see” visit, it was 18 years since having been there with my family for a holiday. I had vividly remembered certain places and food from that childhood trip, and was extremely eager to revisit and to re-taste those places and foods..

I spent a weekend in London at the end of August.. It would have been 28 years since the last time I was there with mom and dad as a little toddler eating Softy Ice Cream Cones with a Chocolate Flake in it..

London and the U.K have always been something near and dear to the Lau family as well.. Dad and his brothers have all at some point in their lives spent some years living in the U.K.. In the family photo albums, the U.K. days were the times of coming of age, of optimistic men with a world full of possibilities in front of them, of brotherhood and of friends…

This weekend in London trip was about a pilgrimage to where all grown Lau family men have gone to, it was about friends, and it was about the Softy Ice Cream Cone with a Chocolate Flake in it..

Friends come together in mysterious ways.. During one of the backpacking adventures to Ko Phangan in Thailand, I got to meet and hangout with some really fun, amazing and sometimes crazy people.. Annie, Monica, Phil and Toby were some of them.. And some of us have been in touch with each other occasionally since then – nearly 6 years ago!

Now that I was living in Europe, it was clear that it was just a matter of time before we had a Ko Phangan reunion – if possible with ‘buckets’..

So, it happened with Annie announcing that she was having some Pharmaceutical conference in Glasgow.. Annie’s American from New Jersey (alongside her lil’ sister Nikkamo Monica who is supposed to rule my kingdom with me in India as my queen).. She planned to check out London on the weekend after her conference…

Phil lives in High Wycombe, about an hour’s train ride north of London.. He hung out for a couple of days in Singapore after the Ko Phangan trip – Mom thought he was gay (the same way she thinks most British boys are gay, and was still asking this time if he was gay).. Phil now has a Mrs Phil - Tess, and a lil’ Phil – a cute bundle of joy named Aaron who like any other British toddlers, enjoys a good round of Twinkie-winkie, Tipsy, Lala and Poe in the mornings..

The plane had just crossed the English channel and the sun was just setting behind the London skyline.. It was an amazing bird’s eye view from my window seat… oooh.. the Thames.. wow, it’s Big Ben.. the London Eye..

I arrived in Terminal 2 on a Friday night after work, went through immigration and walked pass customs – two harmless housewife-looking middle-aged ladies were being held for four large suitcases containing only packs of Marlboro cigarettes filled to the brim; while the custom officers were kept busy counting the packs.. Phil greeted me at the exit and we then quickly hopped into the car to get to the spanking new Terminal 5 to pick up Annie.. We then headed straight north to High Wycombe where Annie and I would be guests in Phil and Tess’ living room for the weekend.. the little Teletubby was already asleep when we arrived so the four adults popped a bottle of champagne to celebrate the reunion…

The great but weird thing was we had all met for the first time in Thailand, and hung out with each other for about a week.. Yet, 6 years later and meeting up again; it felt like we had known each other all our lives.. Though 6 years had passed, but those days of hammocks and Thai buckets felt like the week before…

London Day One was the usual tourist trail.. High Wycombe to Marylebone (I prefer to call it Marlboro naturally) station, and then Marlboro to Waterloo… we started with some noodles for lunch, and then started the march from the London Eye.. then Big Ben.. the British Parliament.. Westminster Abbey.. and then St James Park – JACKPOT!.. Softy Cone with Chocolate Flake time..

I was barely a 3 year old Teletubby when I last ate a British Softy Cone with a Chocolate Flake.. I could not remember how it tasted, but it was one of those childhood memories where you remember and know it was a positive experience.. I do remember being a kid in Malaysia wishing that I could have a chocolate flake on the 20 cent ice cream cones I used to buy outside my school.. I do remember getting excited when 7-Eleven opened in Malaysia for the first time and introducing Mister Softee..

The Softy Cone must be one of the simple pleasures in life.. Tasting it again for the first time after 28 years, you have to admire the wisdom of a 3 year old and be in awe at how the brain programs such positive memories into you.. It is no ordinary ice cream.. it is no rubbish Mister Softee from 7-Eleven.. This was literally soft and fluffy cream that’s iced cold and topped with yes, yes yes a divine Chocolate Flake.. If I could, I would have at least a Softy Cone with Chocolate Flake everyday…

As it is pretty obvious in this blog, the main tourist attraction for the day was really the Softy Cone with Chocolate Flake.. the rest of the day’s sights included Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar’s Square (where I wanted to take a picture of myself next to a bronze statue Lion as my dad and uncle Chee Hong once did, but the Square was all staged up for the Olympics live viewing broadcast.. maybe next time!) and a ferry ride crossing the Thames…

Phil and Tess then had to get home to High Wycombe to pick up Aaron from the babysitter’s, while Annie and I spent the rest of the evening at a Medieval Torture Museum and the Tate Modern Art Museum learning how to look Arty Farty by checking out the latest exhibition - work of an artist named Cy Twombly. Twombly’s work consisted of impressions of penises, breasts and bodily excrements blended with personal handwritten words like “Fuck”, and made sophisticated with audio commentary tapes in British accent.. I don’t know much about Art but I thought I have seen such work under an overhead bridge somewhere.. My high school headmaster once brought in my dad and told me that this wasn’t art and that no one in the right mind would be interested in such paintings.. Well maybe, we did not have audio commentary tapes in classy British accents back then…

Day One then ended with wine, Guinness Pies and a lovely but extremely cold (and then rainy) walk by the South Bank..

Day Two started with the dream that all those who have read and loved Shakespeare would kill and die for… Annie and I managed to score standing tickets to the “Merry Wives of Windsor” matinee in the legendary Globe Theatre.. Standing there in front of the stage on a Sunday afternoon, you just know that you are a traveler experiencing, not just a tourist seeing.. Most people I know from Asia, if they had only a weekend in London would probably be spending the 3 hours of daylight taking more pictures at Piccadilly Circus or shopping rather than watching a live Shakespearean play…

Continuing the Shakespearean theme – after the play, we made a mad dash to The Tower of London before closing time… “Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by this son of York…”, Richard III was always a classic… the ultimate Machiavellian who smothered those two young bastards in the tower and drowned his brother Clarence.. or so that’s what Henry Tudor says!..

The highlight of Day Two however was really dinner… Tess cooked up some really yummy Filipino Grilled Fish and Pork Adobo (not to be confused with Adobe Photoshop – there was no retouching on this pork!).. and good ol’ Toby joined us for dinner… It was the Ko Phangan Reunion Dinner, and Toby announced that he was going to be a daddy.. and so it was time for more champagne!

It was a wonderful evening catching up.. reminiscing those carefree days in Thailand.. threatening each other about bringing out the bucket.. and ended with Phil ignoring me and Annie about driving out to Stonehenge in the middle of the night to catch sunrise there…

The Ko Phangan reunion weekend ended on Day Three.. we dropped Annie off at Terminal 4 for her flight back to the U.S. and then me at Terminal 2 back to the working world.. It was a weekend to remember, and it will not be the last of such weekends…

I will be back – for friends or at least for another Softy Ice Cream Cone with Chocolate Flake…

04.10.2008 - Transformers.. More than meets the eye!

2008-10-06T01:32:00.000-07:00

Men will always be boys – no matter what age you get up to.. And boys will always have their toys.. I was introduced to the wonderful world of Transformers by my cousin Chak when he returned from the U.S. over twenty years ago.. And till today, many men my age are still so fascinated by cars that could shape-shift into robots and back.. And, Transformers continue to be as popular with the current generation of kids as when it used to be back in 1986…

It is no surprise then that I am now the second person in the Lau family to own a convertible.. Chak of course was again to first to own the grown-up boy’s version of a Transformer…

Okay, well so it doesn’t exactly transform into a robot.. but it’s the closest thing a grown-up boy can have in terms of a machine that can kinda shape-shift. At the click of a button, it goes from ordinary looking car, “Transform!...” *chkkk-wook-wook-wook-wook* to a car with no roof but the sky.. “..and roll out…”.. Optimus would be proud…

Unfortunately for Optimus, my car is really a Decepticon.. “F-AL-6128” is a wicked metallic black 2008 BMW Z4 roadster.. that would leave the Autobots biting the dust with a top speed of 270km/h..

And it is indeed a spectacular feeling…

One, well have I mentioned it’s a Transformer??.. haha.. yes, having a convertible is wonderful and only something that really makes sense where the scenery is beautiful, the air is fresh, and most importantly where the weather does not get to the level of heat and humidity like that of Southeast Asia..

Two, it’s a sports car hallelujah! – in the land of the Autobahn where sometimes when they do have speed limits, it is 120km/h – faster than the north-south expressway in Malaysia.. and when they don’t have speed limits, you would be hogging the road at 120km/h..

Finally three, I have always wanted a BMW.. Between a Mercedes and a BMW, the Merc for me was always a rich man’s symbol of extravagance; while the BMW was always a symbol of a successful man’s reward… My uncles Chee Hong and Chee Wai were driving Beemers and I had always envisioned myself as the next Lau to drive one… And now, it is my reward..

“Adam Lau! Transform and roll-out!” has so much more meaning now…

03.10.2008 - Sunset on The Last Bunny Trail

2008-10-06T01:27:00.000-07:00

The season has changed since I last wrote on this blog.. I have now been in Frankfurt for over 3 months now.. How time flies… As I write, the trees around my apartment are turning into an amazing panorama of golden brown, rusty red and mustard yellow.. The air is crisp, getting chilly but still lots of nice sunshine.. Ths sun now rises at 7.30am – a big change from June when it was already all bright at 5.00am, and it’s now dark before 8.00pm..

Today is my first public holiday in Frankfurt, and the first day I am actually enjoying and relaxing in my new home.. Yes, since I last wrote I have found an apartment that I’m quite happy with.. It’s on a little road called Letzter Hasenpfad (roughly translated as “The Last Bunny Trail”) in Sachsenhausen South – south of the river Main, a half an hour drive to the office through the city or 15 minutes through the Autobahn, and a 15 minute walk down hill to the bars and restaurants of Sachsenhausen..

Well, I did not end up getting my dream apartment by the river as planned.. But, “the One” came along when and where I least expected her to be.. Instead of the river, I now live in a one-bedroom, top floor apartment on a hill, surrounded by lots of trees, but more spectacularly with a full panoramic view from my balcony of all of Frankfurt, its surrounding suburbs and the mountains beyond.. Sunsets on the sofa or on the balcony are always mixed moments of photo-opportunity and quiet contemplation over the beauty of nature.. The balcony goes round the apartment from the living room, past the kitchen and to my bedroom on the other side of the building – yes, it feels good to feel like a King overseeing his city..

I’ve spend the last month furnishing the place - having been to IKEA at least 6 times, and with my shipment finally arriving from Indonesia 2 weeks ago, I can now proudly say that I finally have a home here.. The only thing missing now is a proper coffee table (temporarily: an empty box from the shipment with a blanket over it) and a proper dining set (temporarily: my table and foldable chairs from the balcony)..

This feeling of enjoyment of the home is however very different as well.. I have been living in a furnished rental apartment in those years in Indonesia.. Now for the first time ever, as I look around me – I can feel proud that it is my sofa.. the TV in front belongs to me.. I am sleeping on my own bed.. I bought that washing machine and clothes dryer.. Suddenly, there is a greater sense of pride and achievement.. Yes sure I don’t own this apartment, but I own this home..

As I now write this blog, the music from the Indonesian band “Ungu” and the wonderful aroma of Sop Buntut (Indonesian Oxtail Soup) that I’m cooking permeates the entire apartment.. Perhaps another wonderful symbolism of my transition from the home that was Jakarta, and into my new little sanctum in “The Last Bunny Trail”…

26.07.08 - Finding 'The One' in Frankfurt

2008-07-28T01:05:00.000-07:00

I thought that I had finally found her, "The One".. That vision of perfection that I have been searching for all this time.. She was beautiful on the outside, and charming on the inside.. I met her last Monday and though the time we spent together was brief, I think I fell in love with her..

But then as it happened.. unfortunately, she did not feel the same way. Or at least I think, I might not have impressed her folks? Who knows?...

Then, there was another.. she seemed nice enough.. had nice character, but something just wasn’t quite right.. So, rather than committing, I decided to keep my options open.. but now she’s gone.. taken..

And another, really sweet and nice.. but eventhough I can see a possible future with her, she’s just too far away for us to really make things work..

Yes.. finding an apartment in Frankfurt is exactly like finding a girlfriend/wife/life partner!

The prettiest and good ones are usually expensive and high maintenance.
The bad ones are cheap and couldn’t care less about their appearance.
The skanky ones smell funny and have probably been slept in by many different people..
And YES, the decent ones are always courted by many and are usually off the market pretty fast..
And as long as you still can’t find one, you are literally sleeping around!

In Frankfurt, it is a homeowner’s market rather than a tenant’s market. Good apartments are in high demand with a queue of aspiring tenants.. The first apartment that I wanted to see was gone the day after the ad was posted on the website! Homeowners therefore have a wide range of choices of who to pick and therefore get the rare thrill of playing Emperor picking their favourite subjects..

But to be fair to the homeowners, it is perhaps the law that has made them this way as well.. German laws protect the tenants, not the homeowners.. Which is why, most people rarely buy property in Germany because the return on investment is low and the hassle of dealing with tenants can become a pain in the arse.. Once you have a tenant, the contract is indefinite.. rents cannot be raised until a new tenant moves in.. and a tenant cannot be asked to leave unless the homeowner shows proof that they have to move into that apartment themselves (perhaps because they have sold or lost their current home)..

So, here I am now.. still searching for "The One".. and I must say it is a real learning experience.. I am now starting to learn that "The One" will never be that vision of perfection I have in mind.. It is about learning to compromise and accept that even the presumed best will have certain flaws..

If you feel that you can come home to her everyday and still feel good, comfortable, at peace with the world and have a smile on your face, then she is home…

19.06.2008 - 'Taking The Plunge' Once Again

2008-06-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

“A few months back, I was sitting on a beach in Pulau Ubin, a small island in the Johor Straits north of Singapore. The water in the straits looked really muddy and dirty, and with 'kelongs' in the middle of the straits, one can only imagine the worst that can be found in the black coloured muddy waters.

“On this hot day, there were two groups of people on this little beach. On the extreme right of the beach were a group of Singaporean teenagers, probably just finishing off secondary school. They were comfortably rested under a tree on some mats, with picnic in tow. These kids were nicely dressed and kept themselves a safe distance from the waters. The other group right in front of me was a Caucasian couple with two very young children. Daddy and the two kids, neither of them probably no older than 6 years of age ran into the waters to swim and play to the disgust of the teenagers watching from under their tree. The two children were actually having great fun dipping in the Johor Straits and how cooling it must have been on this sunny day.

“What ran through my mind and most likely the minds of those teenagers was that here are some people playing in water that is possibly contaminated with faeces and other forms of excretion courtesy of the 'kelongs'. But then again, the keyword here is 'possibly'. It dawned upon me the differences between our Asian culture be it Singaporean or Malaysian, and a Caucasian or more-westernised culture. We have a culture of being cautious and careful, of needing to know that it is safe and comfortable before making our move. They on the other hand appear more willing to plunge into the unknown, and discovering for themselves what's good and what's bad rather than being told by others what is good and what is bad.

“It is plainly this difference in culture that reflects why there are so manysuccessful long-term businesses in Western countries as compared tobusinesses in Singapore or Malaysia. The entrepreneur with the bigger balls are more willing to take bigger risks and strive for long-term growth. However, most of the local business people I have known are short-sighted, as they feel that the long-term is too much of an unknown factor. They want immediate gains and invest as little as possible. They are afraid to take risks.

“I did not want to be cautious and careful anymore. I want to be able to have the courage to plunge into the unknown. Having this courage will make me a stronger and more successful person. So I did something a Singaporean or a Malaysian may call an act of 'stupidity'. I took off my shirt and plunged myself into the Johor Straits. I call it 'enlightenment'. The water was anything but clear and the sandbed felt squishy - my mind wondering how many kids have peed in the water and how many more men have taken a dump into the straits; but these were just in my mind. The water felt really great and refreshing. Those conservative teenagers on the beach who were now looking at me in disgust were the ones missing out. Moral of the story, nothing-ventured nothing gain. If you are gonna just sit there and be afraid, you will never know the truth. If you jump in and find something good, you are better off. If you jump in and find something bad, you are still better off as it is a lesson learnt. I was now armed with a new outlook in life that was about "taking the plunge.." – Prologue, Backpack to Thailand Journal, Adam Lau (17 February 2002).

“Taking the Plunge” - The spirit that was borne out of the murky waters of the Johor Straits more than 6 years ago could not be even more relevant today as I look back on the last 6 years until right now..

I took a different plunge on 4 September 2004, when I relocated to Jakarta, Indonesia.. But still, I would not say it was a big plunge – it was 2 hours by air from Singapore, the culture and language was pretty similar, and ultimately I was still in the comfort zone of being in the home region of Asia..

However, as of 13 June 2008; I have now taken a new BIGGER and very different plunge.. As of last Friday, I have officially become what I’ve coined a “Chinese Frankfurter”.. Yes, I do understand that the phrase conjures up some rather provocative images, some less flattering than others.. But, I do like to provoke as most who know me would agree.. However, just to clarify, the official meaning behind the phrase is that I am now an ethnic Chinese (born in Malaysia, family in Singapore, from Indonesia) now living in Frankfurt, Germany..

Yes, it is quite a sizeable plunge comparable to that first backpacking trip to Thailand.. 12 hours by plane vs 12 hours by bus from Singapore.. having to learn a totally different language.. in a place where you don’t really know anyone.. in a place where you need to navigate from point A to point B with a map.. and in a new lifestyle that is a sudden change from the one just experienced two weeks before.. and adapting to a new computer keyboard where ‘y’ and ‘z’ have exchanged positions – see if you can spot the typos..

It is now the end of Thursday, so I have now lived here for a week.. I’ve gotten over the Madrid robbery incident - saved for taking every opportunity I get at making smartass remarks at Spain in daily conversations.. eg. The Spanish won their Euro game last week because they were using my HP mini to strategize.. We can’t feature a cigarette pack on ads in Spain so we feature my HP mini instead.. petty stuff, but I digress..

Also, thanks a zillion to my cousin Chak for having kept all of my “Backpack to Thailand Journal” entries in his email inbox and sending it back to me at 4am in the morning last Friday! So, all was not lost afterall...

Anyway, yes it’s been a week in Frankfurt and to quote McDonalds in German – “Ich liebe es!”

I like the fact that it’s summer yet it’s been really cool and fresh, and the fact that even when I leave the office at 9pm, the sun is still shining bright.. I like the fact that I can leave work, get dinner, get home at 10.30pm and the sun is only just setting… unlike the last nearly 4 years of seeing the night sky in Jakarta even when I leave the office at 6.30pm..

I enjoy the thrill of learning and speaking a new language from the nice, friendly people all around me in the office who are willing to teach.. I enjoy going into a shop or a restaurant and having no idea if I am speaking the language right or totally speaking like a dumbass..

I love the lifestyle of being able to walk on the streets for miles through quaint neighborhoods lined with large trees and fresh flowers.. I am even getting used to commuting to and from work with the subway, and not having a driver anymore – although I am longing to be able to drive around in a convertible with the top down just because the weather is so absolutely gorgeous…

I find thrill in listening to the radio station in my office that is tuned into a station that seems to play songs from those good ol’ uni days in Perth (they’re playing “Bitch” bz Meredith Brooks right now).. Coupled with the weather and lifestyle, it takes me back to those simple days of simple pleasures..

I get a buzz when I catch the scent of bratwurst on the BBQ grill in the heart of the city.. and having discovered a Thai restaurant in Bockenheim that serves authentic Thai food better than any Thai restaurant in Jakarta and just as good as the ones in Thailand.. and being able to enjoy eating a Pizza or Grilled Chicken with Salad and Fries for lunch in the outdoors with wind and pollen in your hair.. and trying to order pizza in German before the guy on the other side of the line hangs-up on you because he has no clue what you’re rambling about (and then calling again to realize he speaks English afterall!)…

All in all, the first week of the Brand New Life is off to a good start.. I have taken the plunge, and I have been ‘enlightened’ once more…

13.06.2008 - Seat 2C SpanAir Flight - Madrid to Frankfurt

2008-06-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Here I am, sitting again in the plane just after a wonderful week in Madrid. About to start my whole new life in a couple hours time as we fly towards Frankfurt, my new home.

But the events in the last 2 hours are now sitting heavily on my mind,
I just got robbed...

Not in some alley. Not at gunpoint. Nothing dramatic in that sense. I got robbed while checking into this flight. One moment, my laptop bag was there; sitting on the trolley basket next to my handcarry and my suit.. The next moment, it was gone, vanished into the bustling traffic of the Madrid airport. Faces, bags, trolleys, faces, bags, trolleys…

The police here was of no help; and the airline (Spanair) advised me to lodge my police report in Frankfurt since I might miss my flight if I did it in Madrid.

Yes, it sucks.. Big time..

They took my new personal laptop – my beautiful HP Mini, the new external DVD drive, my trusty camera, my Indonesia mobile phone, my signature round frames Ray-Ban that have so defined my daytime look the last few years; and most importantly my external hard drive – my life.

Yes, they took my life. Because I am relocating, everything that has been important to me has been filed away in that external hard drive – favourite presentations that I made when I was an Account Exec in Singapore until I was a Group Account Director in Indonesia, past TVCs I worked on, photographs, recordings from my band days, personal emails and letters, my ramblings from the days backpacking in Thailand…

It wasn’t the cost of the new laptop or the other items that were in there. It was the personal cost of losing memorabilia from one’s past, the things that you hold near and dear, the things that have defined and maybe made you what and who you are today…

Another act of symbolism? Could this be fate’s way of telling me that it’s time to let go of the past and start my new life in Frankfurt without looking back at anything?

The good thing is that they did not take my other handcarry bag which was on the same trolley basket. It contained my life documents – birth certificate, ‘O’ and ‘A’ level certificates, my university diploma…

Makes you wonder perhaps… They have taken away who I was.. But, they have not taken away who I am.. They have not taken away my identity.. They have not taken away the essence of me.. So, maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all?

Welcome to a brand new life…

June 6, 2008 - I hate Goodbyes..

2008-06-06T00:35:00.000-07:00

“We are so used to being among people that sometimes we forget to look at them. We forget to really look, to notice and appreciate the slant of an eye, the tilt of a nose, the way an eye colour catches the light, an expanse of stunning skin...

"The more we travel, the more we see and appreciate the variety... from Asia to Africa, from Latin America to the Middle East, and from Europe to North America. And with the celebration of diversity comes the realisation that humans have more in common than is obvious. We all cry, laugh, eat, worry and die. We are all touched by music, we cheer for those who fight as a team, and we all seek happiness.

"The dreams may differ, but we all dream; the hopes may vary, but we all hope; we may have different beliefs, but we all believe. So we are not; after all, a melting pot, but a beautiful, multi-faceted mosaic of dreams, hopes and yearnings.” – Silverkris magazine (June ’08), pp42-47.

“How appropriate...” I thought to myself as I flipped though the magazine, awaiting for the last few passengers to trickle into the plane.. There’s always so much symbolism in my life, like a carefully scripted movie.. little subtle touches here and there..

They say that when you are about to leave this world, your entire life flashes before you.. In those few moments before you leave, you will smile and you will shed a tear or two.. As I left Jakarta this morning, my beloved home for the last 3 years and 9 months; I smiled, and I shed more than two tears.. Yes, as much as I have never said it before – Jakarta has been, is, and will always be; home.. Home is where the heart is.. home is where the people you love are at..

I hate goodbyes.. I hate farewells..

I woke up this morning with a heavy heart.. a dread and a reluctance to leave.. My bags had not been fully packed – very unusual behaviour for someone who usually packs at least 24 hours or more before he travels anywhere.. Somewhere deep inside, I wished that I would miss the plane so that I could take a later flight, just to be able to spend at least a few more hours in J-town, just to be able to have another meal of Sop Buntut Cut Mutiah, or Bakmi Orpa or Manadonese at Beautika; and just to be able to spend a few more precious moments with some of the people I’ve come to know and love...

I will miss Lisa, my M’Adam Lau.. my trusted lieutenant on the world of Marlboro Indonesia.. Smart, beautiful, hardworking.. a woman of integrity and loyalty.. She holds the fort, and without her I doubt that our team would have been as successful as we are today.. and I would have been totally lost without her for the last 3 over years..

I will miss Didit, the young Jedi in the making.. my trusted lieutenant on the mixed bag world of shampoos and skin-care brands.. full of curiosity, intellect, ambition and all things that make great men.. And like all great men, he will be destined for great things..

I will miss the two young dynamic duo of Chika and Nanda.. two fresh inquisitive minds, ever asking the tough questions, never satisfied with the status quo.. women with bright futures..

I will miss Racheal, my ‘bule’ office wife who knew Leo Burnett the man personally during the Great Depression years.. ever ready with a smart arse witty comeback.. the future of our business..

I will miss Ravi Bhaya, my ‘wing man’ who continues to be successful now bossing all over Starcom.. my picky buddy who doesn’t eat street food..

I will miss Pak Naspani, more than just a driver but my loyal, trust-worthy bodyguard who ensures that I get home in one-piece after a big night out of scotches, vodkas and tequilas..

And beyond them, there’s so many more friends who have become like family that I’ll miss...

As the plane lifted off, I looked out the window to catch one last glimpse.. the Cengkareng Golf Course.. the Pluit area..then the vast panorama mix of padi fields and hills, as the cars on the roads become an army trail of ants.. through the clouds, and with a thousand islands below.. and with that, and still with a heavy heart; I said my one last goodbye to Jakarta.